Daily Jokes on EkNazar

I've cried

A million words would not bring you back, I know, because I've tried. Neither would a million tears. I know, because I've cried

Doctor, it hurts!
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts.When I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you. You've broken your finger!"

Nothing Exactly
Principal: "I've had complaints about you, Johnny, from all of your teachers. What have you been doing?"
Johnny: "Nothing, sir."
Principal: "Exactly!"

"First day
The mother says to her daughter, "Did you enjoy your first at school?"
The daughter answers, "First day? Do you mean I have to go back again tomorrow?"

3 Restaurants

There were three restauraunts on the same block. One day one of them put up a sign which said "The Best Restaurant in the City."

The next day, the largest restaurant on the block put up a larger sign which said "The Best Restaurant in the World."

On the third day, the smallest restaurant put up a small sign which said "The Best Restaurant on this Block."

Boy Or Girl
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.

Telephone
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.

"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"

"Wrong number," replied the girl.

Good News & Bad News
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."

A guy says to his friend, "Guess how many coins I have in my pocket."

The friend says, "If I guess right, will you give me one of them?"

The first guy says, "If you guess right, I'll give you both of them."

An Old Man Himself Had Hearing Problem

An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one day, he stood behind her
while she was sitting in her chair. He spoke softly
to her, "Honey, can you hear me?"

There was no response. He moved a little closer and said again, "Honey, can you hear me?"

Still, there was no response. Finally, he moved right behind her and said, "Honey, can you hear me?"

She replied, "for the third time, yes!"

You Are a Housewife

One day a man spotted an old brass lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed the dirt off of it, and a genie appeared.

"I'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said.

The man thought for a moment, then said, "I want a spectacular job - a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do."

"Poof!" said the genie. "You are a housewife." :P

A Mans Feeling

A Man's Feeling :....

"It feels Like a Mini heart attack when I dont find my Mobile in my pocket .......
& its almost like Heart Fail when I see it in my Girlfriend's hand !

Boss to an employee

BOSS to an employee....
.
"Do you believe in life after Death?"
.
EMPLOYEE.....
.
"Certainly not! There's no proof of it",
he replied.
.
.
BOSS: "Well, there is now. After you left
early yesterday to go to your uncle's
funeral, he came here looking for you.

Dont Play With Students
Question: "How to Kill an Ant??"

Asked in an Exam for 10 Marks!!

Student:
Mix Chilli Powder with Sugar,
&
keep It Outside the Ant's Hole..!

After eating, Ant will Search for some Water near a Water tank.

Push ant in to it.. =!!

Now Ant will go to Dry itself Near Fire,
When it Reaches fire, Put a Bomb into D fire..!!

Then Admit Wounded Ant in ICU..!! =O

And Then Remove Oxygen Mask from it's Mouth and Kill the Ant.. !! =|

MORAL:
Don't Play with Students.. !!
They can Do any thing for 10 Marks..

Devils Vs. Angels Cricket Match

The Devils challenged the Angels to a game of cricket.

"But we've got all the cricketers," said the Angels.

"Yes. But we've got all the umpires!" exclaimed The Devils.

Men Are Better Friends

Women:
A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment overnight.
The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that.

Men
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment overnight.
So the wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirmed that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!

One day a kindergarten class was having fun inside their classroom, then she asked them to find a partner and play Mommy and Daddy and asked them to behave like their Mom and Dad. the whole classroom was screaming and yelling their heads off. the teacher stopped them and said "STOP!I-"
A little girl spoke up and said, "what? u asked us to play Mom and Dad!"

Field Equipment

A biologist phones his wife from his office and says, "Honey, something has just come up, I realize its not my field season, but I have to visit my field site for a week. So, would you pack my clothes, my field equipment and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in 1 hour to pick them up."

A week later he returned.

"Did you have a good trip, dear?" his wife asked.

"Oh, it was just a typical field trip, you know, work work work," he exclaimed, and added "But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."

"No I didn't," she replied. "I put them in the box of field equipment!"

Deodorant Issues

It was a really hot day at the office due to a malfunction with the air conditioning system. There were about twenty people in close quarters and everyone was sweating, even with a fan on.

All of a sudden, people started to wrinkle their noses at an odor passing through the air. It was the most hideous smell anyone had ever smelled.

One man, popping his head out of his cubicle said, "Oh, man! Someone's deodorant isn't working."

A man in the corner replied, "It can't be me... I'm not wearing any."

Pet Turtle

"Mommy, my turtle is dead," the little boy, Johnny, sorrowfully told his mother, holding the turtle out to her in his hand.

The mother kissed him on the head, then said, "That's all right. We'll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box, then have a nice burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we'll go out for an ice cream soda, and then get you a new pet."

"Ice cream?" the little boy said, wiping his tears and smiling, "Oh! Boy!"

His mother said, "I don't want you..."

Her voice trailed off as she noticed the turtle move, "Johnny, you're turtle is not dead after all."

"Oh," the disappointed boy said. "Can I kill it?"