Forget
Patient: Doc I keep on forgetting things.
Doctor: Since when did you have these problems?
Patient:What problems?
Rating 
Student
Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Sarah : "HIJKLMNO"!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Sarah: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
Rating 
Happy Little Old Man
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. 'I couldn't help noticing how happy you look,� she said. What's your secret for a long happy life?
I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, he said. I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise.
That's amazing, the woman said. How old are you?
Twenty-six! he said.
Rating
Medical Terms Ignorant Meaning #1
Antibody Against everyone
Artery The study of the paintings.
Bacteria Back door to a cafeteria.
Caesarean section � A district in Rome.
Cardiology � Advance study of poker playing.
Cat scan � Searching for lost kitty.
Chronic � Neck of a crow.
Coma � Punctuation mark.
Cortisone � Area around local court.
Cyst � Short for sister.
Rating 
Ad for a good cook
Hotel Management gave advertisement for a good cook to recruit. One cook has sent one application as follows :
Dear Sir, I am a good cooker. If you appoint me, I am sure I will be able to cook you. When I was working earlier in a hotel I cooked them all.
Rating
Wife
Jhony:Shyam,you know my wife is an angel.
Shyam:Oh!am very lucky because my wife is still alive.
Rating
Teacher
Teacher: Why are you late, sunny?
Sunny: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Sunny: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"
Rating
Computer
Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"
Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."
Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I buy just one window?"
Rating
Make your bed
Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.
Rating
Man of the House
The husband had just finished reading the book 'Man of the House.'
He stormed into the kitchen and walked directly up to his wife, pointing a finger in her face, he said,
'From now on I want you to know that I am the man of the house and my word is law. I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a scrumptious dessert. Then, after dinner, you are going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?
His wife replies, 'the funeral director would be my guess'.
Rating
Do You Fancy a Double?
Neil was in a pub, extremely drunk. The barman, Simon, noticed this, and when Neil asked for another whisky, the barman politely told him that he was too drunk to be served another drink.
Neil leaves. He walks out of the pub and in again at the side door and asks Simon for a double whisky. A little frustrated, Simon repeats the answer he had said earlier.
Neil, again leaves and enters through a further side door, walks up to the barman and asks for a Scotch. Simon is now quite annoyed, and tells Neil he is too drunk and to get a ride home and leave the pub.
Once more, Neil leaves. Again he comes in, this time through the back door. Neil walks up to the barman and before he can say a word, Simon explodes at him, 'I told you already, you are way too drunk, you can not have another whisky. Get out of my bar!'
Disgruntled, Neil glares at Simon and asks, 'Man, how many bars do you work at?'
Rating 
Both hands on the wheel
A nervous old lady on a bus was made even more nervous by the fact that the driver periodically took his arm out of the window.
When she couldn't stand it any longer, she tapped him on the shoulder and whispered on his ear: "Young man...you keep both hands on the wheel...I'll tell you when it's raining!"
Rating 
Graying hair
Customer asked to the shopkeeper, What do you have for graying hair?
The Shopkeeper replied, Nothing but the highest respect Sir.
Rating
Worry
Son asked the father Worry causes tension and tension causes disease, is it true dad?
Father says, Of course, Yes.
Son replied, That is why I stopped worrying about my studies.
Rating
Is this your dog?
A man was sitting near a dog. Another man appeared there and asked the first man Does your dog bites?
Man: No
The second man sits and the dog bites him!
Second man angrily: You said it does not bites!
Man: This is not my dog.
Rating
They think me 'GOD'
Weirdo 1: People consider me as a GOD .
Weirdo 2: How do you know??
Weirdo 1: When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have came again .
Rating 
Medical Joke
Sunny: Why are you heating the knife.
Bunny: To do suicide.
Sunny: But why are you heating it?
Bunny: To prevent infection.
Rating
Tables
Teacher: Krish, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
Krish: You told me to do it without using tables.
Rating
Maths Lesson
The math teacher saw that Sri wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on her and said, 'Sri! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?'
Sri quickly replied, 'ABC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!'
Rating
Color TV
A person went to a TV shop and asked, "Do you have color TV?"
"Yes" replied the shop-owner.
The person said, "Give me green one."
Rating
